Angry, at whom

Yesterday, I was asked a question that has caused me to do a lot of pondering. I was asked why I am not angry about having cancer. I think the rest of you are angry for me. I just don’t see any reason to be angry. If I had been born in a “Third World Country” 60 years ago I would not have lived a single day. I have known this all my life each and every day the Lord has given me is a blessing.

Now add to this my belief in Heaven and that death is simply a doorway to the next phase of eternal life. What is there for me to be angry about? Once the doctors find a way to handle this pain so that it is just a little more tolerable I will be very happy.

Back when I was a dumb teenager I thought that my Mom was sorry she ever had a daughter. For several years now I have known that she really did want me and is now very sorry to see me suffer through this illness.

Has I have gotten older I have come to learn just how blessed I have been with the parents the Lord sent me to.  They are both kind and loving to me and always wanted what was the best for me.

My brothers and I were not very close until just the last few years. But now we have gotten close and that is wonderful.

This evening I had a great talk with one of the ladies from Church with some ideas on how to protect myself from this crazy doctor the next time I have to go to the hospital.

Now I plan to start writing a formal complaint to turn into the hospital administration for their review of this doctor and his conduct.

Although I did not listen to the talks in Sacrament, or attend Sunday school class or Relief Society I felt better just being there. I felt the Love of my Savior through his children. I also had several chats with others who let me know of their love for me and their concern for how I am doing and how Mom is doing. We are doing okay, not great but just okay.