The pleasure of quiet days

Hi Folks,

Sorry about not posting anything yesterday. I had a great day it was nice and peaceful. If only more days were peaceful for all of us. Today my special recliner was delivered, the only thing this does not have is heat and message. It is much larger than my Dad’s old one, Mom teases and says that I don’t have a chair, I have a throne!

I don’t know if I have told all of you or not so I will tell you all now. There are times when my left hand gets so swollen that it hurts to try to type.  So I am going to ask all of you to be patient with me about typing my posts.

Today has also been a quiet day, even though we have had a few deliveries and are expecting one more. Because it has been so nice and quiet there is nothing to tell you about. I hope you and your families are enjoying this time with your kids, while school is out. Sadly we don’t have enough snow here for the kids to go out sledding. All we have at my house is a bunch of slush, good for nothing.  For those of you who enjoy winter sports I hope we get more. For me, I would be happy with about 4 inches of snow just enough to give us a good coating then get it shoveled and enjoy the scene.  Then just let it stay like that until March or April then it can melt away for spring.

Christmas Eve & Christmas Day

Hi Friends & Family;

I am sorry that I did not put up a post last night. Yesterday was such a crazy day that in the early evening when I normally write my post I was just too tired to try and write it. So now I will tell you about yesterday and hope you will understand why I was so tired.

A couple from Church came over they had heard the forecast that we were supposed to have several snow storms over the course of the rest of this week and they wanted to make sure that we had EVERYTHING we need to get through the storms. The storm that was supposed to hit last night turned out to only give us a dusting of snow. A homemade storm window for our screen porch windows had been blown down, so he not only put it back in place in made sure none of the rest will come out. They also did other little things like that to make sure we are ready for any storms that could come this week.

Then my lawyer stopped by I needed a couple of documents taken care of so that a dear friend of mine can help me get my 401K and pension money for my funeral if I am not accepted for donation to the science world. I could be denied if I am too thin at the time of my death so we have to be ready either way. This takes a great burden off of my shoulders and I trust this person totally.

Then I needed a visit from my VNA nurse, I was having a great deal of pain around my feeding tube and I was sure that it could be fixed. I mentioned the problem to my cancer doctor’s nurse and she told me that the VNA nurse could fix it and that I did not need to come in and see a doctor to fix this. So Cookie came and did that, then she went out to her car and phoned the other nurse to confirm some things about my care.  She also called her office about formally switching me from palliative care to hospice care. I guess then she called and ordered some medical supplies. After all of that she came back into the house. I signed the papers to make the change to hospice. Then she told us that she had ordered a wheelchair, a hospital bed table and a special recliner that is electric. It will let me lay totally flat, or it will lift the seat to help me get out of the chair if or when I need that help.  

Then my kid brother and family came over to visit while I was laying down and they ended up helping us by making things ready for the delivery of the equipment that we expected. I did get up before they left and I had a delightful visit with them. It turned out that they can’t deliver the recliner until the 26^th of December, but that is okay because we are already for it when it gets here.

The wheelchair and bed table have been delivered and a separate delivery of my pain medication was made to make sure that I don’t run out of it over the holiday week.

Today has been a MUCH quieter day and I have been able to move at my own pace and have NO feeling of being rushed for anything.  I have decided that this post is going to do for both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. So to all of you who celebrate Christmas have a very Merry Christmas and be sure to remember that Jesus is the reason for the season. To the rest of you Happy Holiday’s however you choose to celebrate at this time of year. I wish all of you the best.  It is now time for me to take a much needed nap. Please be happy with me that I am having a great day, by kid brother stopped by with brunch which was great and then my oldest son and his two kids stopped by for a short but wonderful visit. I am thrilled that my kid brother and family gave a donation to St. Jude’s Children’s Hospital in my name has my Christmas gift. What a wonderful thing to do, and a great charity to select.

Merry Christmas & Happy Holiday’s to all

Love,

Suzie

Oh how I will miss Church on Sunday's

Hi Folks,

I went to Church today and I got to hear four of my granddaughters sing in a special choir. All of the young ladies (12-18) did a wonderful job they sounded great. The entire Church meeting was great, however, the pain that came was far from good. During the meeting my tube to the oxygen tank came off, it did not take long for me to find the tube end and get it reconnected very quickly. I needed help walking to the car after Church and I don’t believe I can ever attend Church again.

I contacted my nurse via text on the way home about adjusting the pain pump and she was able to come right over and adjust it. I also had to increase my oxygen at home from 2 ltrs to 2 ½ ltrs per hour. Right after Cookie left I took a nap and I am still very tired. Cookie is going to get me a hospital bed right away and she is trying to get one with a special mattress.

There seems to be a problem with my feeding tube the bloating seems to be causing the tubing to be too tight where it enters my body, so I am going to see if it can’t be loosened. Actually I would like to learn how to do it myself because it seems to need to be adjusted every day!

I am sorry that today’s news is not good, but I expect that this is the way it is going to be from now on. I have not seen any notes telling about happy memories you have with me, or goofy things we did together. Even if you can’t write them down please think about them and hold on to them.

Sorry this post is being put up so late in the day.

The pain is well controlled and my PCP called me today, yes on a Saturday and told me about a procedure that they might be able to do on me to keep the fluid off of my lungs. She wanted to know if I was interested in having it done. I am interested in getting the facts about the procedure and finding out if I am a good candidate for having it done. After that has been done and I can make a well informed decision then I will give it some very serious thought and prayer. Before we talked about this procedure she wanted to know how I was doing both physically and emotionally. I tell you I have a great doctor. I also had a call from my nurse wanting to know if the changes that were made to my pain pump were working she offered to come over and make more changes if I needed that. But it is not needed.  It is now about 10:45 pm my time and I am very comfortable.

So I am going to call this a very good day. I hope all of you are had a good day today.  Please remember me with happy thoughts and always hold onto those memories of me. That is what I am doing with each of you. You have all touched me in so many great ways. A smile, a hug, a squeeze of my shoulder, a kind word, yes those are all small things but those are the things that matter the most.

The Post I never wanted to write

The surgery option is off the table. My cancer doctors said that I should not have the surgery and I expected their response.

I saw my primary PCP today and there has been a big change in my condition. There is no good way to say this so I will just say it. I have between 6 weeks and 6 months of life left to live. We must take this week by week. 

Over all I have had a good life so please look back on my life and try to find a good memory you have of me. In fact if you want to help me get through the next few weeks please write out these memories. I would love to read these stories.

For those of you who live far away please do NOT worry about getting to see me. Keeping in touch with me via facebook or e-mail has been great and if that is the only way you can keep in touch with me I am very okay with that.

If you are in the area please call and see if I am up to a visit or am I taking a nap. I don’t usually go to bed before 10 PM, but I do take naps in the morning and in the afternoon, also please understand that I often need short visits, so please understand if I get very sleepy when you come to see me.

I want each and every one of you to have a great Christmas, know that I plan to do the same.