A trip to the museum

I had a great day, Don and Mary took me to the museums at the Springfield Quadrangle. They took me into the new museum and I had to be pushed in a wheelchair.  I could not have seen any of it if they did not have any wheelchairs. Sadly I can no longer walk through the science museum. We had to do that to see the Ginger Bread “House” display, one display was Cinderella’s carriage with horses all out of ginger bread. This display runs until the end of the month and is well worth going to see.

I took a nap before I went out and needed one when I got back. Then when I got up from the second nap I was tired. Although it is early I am about ready to go to bed.

One of the brothers from the Church came over and prayed with Mom and I and it brought a great deal of comfort to us. The thought of surgery had me very scared, but after our talk and prayer, he also gave us blessing which gave both of us great comfort. This brother has gone through a different form of cancer but seems to be very empathetic to what I am going through and that is something that helps me to be able to him about the treatments they mention to me.

Additional update on my health

My doctor just called me and it turns out that the tumor on my neck is what is causing the swelling in my left hand and arm. She is going to put in for an oncology surgical referral. We need to see if my heart is strong enough for such a procedure. I have not made any decisions about having surgery. I need to talk to all the doctors first. 

sad news today

Today I feel very sad. I am too weak to change the sheets on my bed. I tried to fold a load of clothes and that wore me out just half way through. I just hate the fact that I am getting weaker and seem to be failing. I have very mixed emotions about dying.  I pray that I do NOT die over the holidays. I do not want to spoil the holidays for my friends and family.

I am only afraid of not completing what the Lord sent me here to do. I have a lot of scanning that I have not completed. But I know that if I can remember who offered to help me with that project it will get done.

My ex-daughter-in-law is coming through for me and giving me all the help I need. I have applied for help through a place called Stavros, they help people live at home and pay people to help me. I get to choose who it is that I have for my assistant. I hope they will pay Brooke to do this. She was a great help to me yesterday while getting the ultra sound. She is also asking today just what help I need.

What is really sad is that my Mom at 88 years old is stronger than I am and I am only 60 years old. But I guess this is just part of dying. But it is a part that I don’t like. But no one said I would like this.

I am sure that this news saddens my friends and family, but I am also sure that you want to know the truth about how I am doing.  For those of you who pray please ask that the Lord’s will be done. Do not pray for my life to be extended other than past the holidays and completing my genealogy task. But I do not want to live just for the sake of living.  At the moment I feel that I have a good quality of life and that is more important to me than the length of my life. Please keep that in mind when thinking or praying for me.

Thank you one and all for all of your friendship and kindness over the years. I have no words to express just how much it means to me.

I am still swollen, but it is coming down

Swelling update: today I went and had the ultra sound on my left arm and shoulder; they also did both sides of my neck. From what the technician said to Brooke, it sounds like the tumor is wrapped around the veins in my neck and shoulder. I go to see a doctor on Friday and get the results of the test then. I feel good about all of this. I elevated my arm during the night has directed and some of the swelling came down so after I have finished this part of my post I will take a break and elevate my arm again.

  

New Development: Swelling

Hi Folks,

Sorry, yesterday I was too tired to write anything but I was having a good day just a lot of company. Friends to visit and a family came and sang carols to us and dropped off gifts. It was a lovely but tiring evening.

Today is a different story; there has been a new development.  I am home, and doing fine. However, this morning just before noon I noticed that my left hand and arm were twice the size of my right hand and arm. So I called the doctor’s office. Her nurse called back and said I needed to come in and be checked out so I did go in. I did not see my regular doctor, but the doctor I did see was very good. She is sending me to have a radiological study done of my left shoulder and arm, looking for a tumor or blood clot blocking the vein and blood flow back to the heart.  The ultra sound will be done on an outpatient basis in the next day or two. The doctor’s office will call me tomorrow with the date and time.

I started by sending a text to my VNA Nurse and telling her what was going on. She advised me to call the doctor and then she came to see me in between her scheduled patients because she wanted to check me out for herself. By that time I had the appointment to see the doctor. She asked me to text her when I got home from the doctors and tell her what the doctor said, which I did. Now you can see why I think I have some of the greatest VNA nurses going. She didn’t have to come over to see me or ask me to text her and keep her updated.

Between now and when I see the doctor again they want me to keep my arm elevated so that some of the swelling can drain. I am in good spirits; I am sure that once they get the results of the ultra sound that the doctor’s will know what to do to take care of me.

Today ended on a bad note but with a ray of hope

Last night I had an upset stomach. In fact it stopped me from starting my night feed on a timely basis.  Up until about 4:30 today I would have told you I was having a good day and I was, but since then it has gone downhill. Again I feel sick to my stomach and tonight I vomited so the day is not ending on a good note. I am not going to try to go to Church in the morning. It is only a little after 7 PM but I am going to go to bed very shortly. Again I am going to wait to start the formula feeding until my stomach settles down a bit. 

Emotionally I feel good. Mom and I did our scripture study and after that we had commented on just how nice the day had been up until then. We had a great visit from one of our Church leaders and he brought great peace into our home. Knowing of the love and concern my Church family have for me is very comforting.

I just had a great talk with a dear friend and she made a suggestion that part of my medication problem is the mixture of meds I am taking at one time. Maybe they should NOT be taken together. So I am going to do an online chat with a pharmacist and see if he/she can give me some guidance on this. This pharmacist will be able to know all but two of my prescriptions, and I will tell him those and then tell him of all my over the counter medications. Who would know better what should be taken together and what should not? I have great hope that this could lead to a solution to my problem. Please add your prayers to mine that this helps.